Welcome to New Zealand – Please Don’t Kill Us!!!

Mount Ngauruhoe, Central Plateau, North Island, New Zealand. Ngauruhoe erupted 45 times in the 20th century, most recently in 1977. Now you can see why 'Lord of the Rings' was made in New Zealand... :)

Mount Ngauruhoe, Central Plateau, North Island, New Zealand. Ngauruhoe erupted 45 times in the 20th century, most recently in 1977. Now you can see why ‘Lord of the Rings’ was made in New Zealand…🙂

We’re used to seeing ‘road snails’ travelling in our country, and although we’re really pleased to see travellers coming here, it’s common for us locals to heave a sigh when we pull up behind a ‘movan’ on the road. We know our country is beautiful, but you have to know that while you’re bumbling along trying to manoeuvre our twisty, hilly roads and look out the window at our gaspworthy scenery at the same time, it’s very possible we’re stuck behind you, envisioning various scenarios IN WHICH WE STRANGLE YOU and toss you over one of our exquisitely scenic hillsides. You see, you might be on holiday, but we’re trying to get to work, to the hospital, return our late dvds to the video store, or any other number of crucial scenarios that occur in everyday life.

New Zealand roads don’t have a lot of passing lanes, you see. So until they invent cars that have helicopter rotors attached to them, we often have to wait for many slow and laborious minutes before we can pass you and get on with our missions. And if you times that by three or four camper vans per trip, then perhaps you can begin to comprehend our strangling fantasies. It’s nothing personal, you understand, we just want you to MOVE OVER!!

What sparked this post off is that I’m subscribed to a fabulous blog whose author does hilarious cartoons to illustrate her stories, and in one of her recent posts she describes a trip she and some friends took to New Zealand, a post I’m sure travellers to New Zealand will find quite useful. You can read it here:

Renting a campervan in New Zealand: Tips and tricks to avoiding utter chaos

Upon perusing this highly entertaining post, I realised that this gave me an opportunity to pass on what Kiwis want tourists to know when they come over here. Please don’t kill us!! This was my message on her post:

 “Kia ora Vy.

Well done for choosing the South Island to go to. All us kiwis ask tourists when we see them – ‘Are you going to the South Island? You HAVE to see the South Island while you’re here, it’s the best of New Zealand scenery!!’

I’m really sorry you got a lemon camper van – this is a good thing to know, so we can advise others ourselves.

A word to tourists heading our way – there is quite a big fuss being made in New Zealand at the moment about tourist drivers. Several have caused accidents lately that have killed New Zealanders, and we’re not very happy about that. Many kiwis are calling for a special driving test for overseas tourists before they can drive on our roads. Because they ARE very twisty and narrow a lot of the time, not what drivers from countries with straight roads and many lanes are used to. There are two things us locals want you to know:

PULL OVER!! If you have three or more cars behind you when you’re driving, pull over as soon as you can do so safely. You may be on holiday, but we’re probably trying to get to work. Not pulling over can cause people to get frustrated and do dangerous overtaking manoeuvres to get where they’re trying to go. Potential accident!

If you’re tired, DON’T DRIVE!! Tiredness can lead to you pulling out into wrong lanes in confusion. Potential accident!

We love having tourists here because we’re very proud of our country and want you to see it. But please don’t come over here and kill us. Thank you, and happy holidaying.

Regards, New Zealand locals. :D”

So that pretty much encapsulates what I’m trying to say here. There are only four million or so of us Kiwis, and it’s pretty sad to think of tourists coming over here to view our gorgeous scenery and bumping off us locals at the same time. So if you’re thinking of coming our way, please try to keep these things in mind – we’d really appreciate it.

Thanks and Welcome to New Zealand.😀

PS: If you want to learn more about our country, here’s another post of mine that will give you a bit of info. Contains photos of gorgeous scenery. Please pull over before reading…

Beautiful New Zealand – My Middle Earth and a Habitat for Hobbits

One of locals in the midst of a strangulation fantasy...

One of locals in the midst of a strangulation fantasy…

 

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Beautiful New Zealand – My Middle Earth and a Habitat for Hobbits

I realised a little while ago that I tend to rave on about places in Asia that I’ve been to – especially Elephant Nature Park – but not really raved very much about the beautiful little country of my birth. So here’s a little rant about my place – Aotearoa, ‘Land of the Long White Cloud’. Also know as Godzone by the denizens of the land, or Middle Earth to the world, since Peter Jackson used the exquisite scenery here as the background for The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. We may not have elephants here, but we do have hobbits. Yessss, we doesss.

The North Island of New Zealand (Middle Earth) with directions on where to find stuff.

The North Island of New Zealand (Middle Earth) with directions on where to find stuff.

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Elephants in the Street and How I Suck as a Westerner and a Tourist

I am guilty. And I was ignorant. I didn’t know.

This baby is so hungry she tried to latch onto a passing elephant she didn't know to suckle. Photo by Lek Chailert

This baby is so hungry she tried to latch onto a passing elephant she didn’t know to suckle.
Photo by Lek Chailert

I went to India four times before I saw my first real live elephant. At about 2 o’clock in the morning, in Pahar Ganj, a place bustling with people and traffic and street dogs and rubbish. I was so thrilled to finally see one that I didn’t stop to think that the poor thing was probably stressed out by the noise and traffic, and also probably just hanging out to get off the hard tarmac and go to bed. Continue reading

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NOT For Sale – One Maine Coon Holder with Bamboo Accent

Aha!! I have found a nest. I will get very comfortable, for obviously this is My nest. MaineCoonHolder 1 72

But wait, there is a human watching me. It must be jealous, for I have never seen it in a nest.

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I will wash. I will wash and ignore it and it will go away.

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This is not working. The human is not going away.

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I must come up with a plan. Let me think.

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Aha! I will stick my leg out. Everything knows that when a cat sticks its leg out, it is obviously washing. And the universal law of cat washing says that a cat washing must be left in peace.

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Hmm. It is not going away. Okay, I will act nonchalant. Everything knows that a cat being nonchalant must be left in peace.

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Not working. Okay, I will sniff. Everything knows that a cat sniffing something is busy and must be left alone.

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This human is not leaving. It is obviously ignorant of cat law. I shall put it to sleep. I will yawn and it will go to sleep.

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Drat! It is not going away. Then I must go back to my nesting.

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Perhaps it will leave me alone and go and inhabit the other nest I have left for it. Then it will not be jealous any more.

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It is seriously ridiculous what a cat has to do to keep a human happy.

 

Ode to Spring (and Beeish Bums)

Spring has sprung and beeish bums
Are humming in the trees
It’s luverly the blossoms are
Oh wait, I have to sneeze

I love to see the fuzzy bees
All celebrating pollen
Though having an ongoing sneeze
Can make me very solemn

But truly it’s a happy sight
A cloud of beeish bums
So though I sneeze with all my might
It’s hard to stay too glum

I’d hate to see a world
Without them fuzzy bums around
So in between my sneezes
I shall relish humming sounds

I like to see the dance they do
It’s cute and sort of funny
They’re welcome to my plants
And I look forward to their honey.

Hummmmmmm

Hummmmmmm

The Convoluted Adventures of Cat Mountain

I went to a lot of trouble to get a large, triangular, traditional Thai cushion on one of my journeys to Chiang Mai, North Thailand. At the furthermost corner of the eclectic (and quite frankly, pungent) local Warorot Market, past the water barrels full of strange be-tentacled beasties and over the metal grate gangway where the rats hide, I had spied this, the perfect cushion that folds out into a bed, on one of my reconnoissance missions. On my last day in Chiang Mai, I ventured back there and  haggled the shopkeeper down until I got a price we both liked. That left me with not quite enough money for a tuktuk, so I walked quite a few blocks with it over my shoulder in a huge plastic bag. Continue reading

Nepal Earthquake April 2015 – An Inkling of What They’re Going Through

I recently posted about a friend of mine, Saujan

HERE

who has a blog called Lexlimbu.com in which he posts of happenings and opportunities for Nepali locals.

Thankfully Sauj made it through Sunday’s large earthquake in Nepal without injury. But, as with many of his countrymen, he is camped outside his home in a tent right now, as it’s both dangerous and scary to go inside while the large aftershocks continue. The aftershocks they are experiencing in Nepal right now are what the rest of the world would consider to be large earthquakes in their own right.

We have very regular earthquakes in New Zealand – sometimes referred to as the Shaky Isles – as we straddle the Pacific and Indo-Australian tectonic plates, plus have several dormant volcanoes in our North Island that like to huff and puff now and again. Around 14,000 quakes happen in our country per year, although fortunately only around 150 are usually felt. School kids in our country are often put through earthquake drills, such is the likelihood of a large one happening in each of our lifetimes. So we in New Zealand are able to empathize with those in similar situations.

To give you some idea of the severity of Nepal’s quake, on February 22 2011, we had a large earthquake in Christchurch, which is situated in our South Island. This quake was 6.3 in magnitude and killed 181 of our people. Nepal’s earthquake on Sunday was a 7.8 in magnitude and so far the death toll is over 4000, and sadly rising. Their quake was 31 times bigger than our one was, and 177 times stronger in energy released. That is a phenomenal difference, one I find it very hard to get my head around. What’s more, they also have avalanches and rock slides to contend with, plus monsoon will be on its way, bringing rain and more possibilities of landslides.

I couldn’t possibly tell you what the Nepali people are feeling right now, but I do know how I felt during a 6.5 quake I experienced years ago, so maybe recounting that will help others to at least gain some idea of how it is for people in Nepal at the moment.

They tell you in New Zealand that in the likely event you feel an earthquake coming, dive for a doorway or under a table. On this particular day, my very pregnant friend and I happened to already be in a doorway with my two young sons, trying to calm down another friend over the phone after we’d had a moderate-sized tremor. We were pretty blase about this ourselves, as we were used to swarms of the darned things at that time of year (March – our Autumn), and we had just been marvelling at how this one had actually made something fall off a shelf in the lounge, and a bunch of books had fallen all around my older son who had been in bed having an afternoon nap. We lived in a large old villa at the time, in which things were made pretty sturdily as they were in the old days, so I felt we were pretty protected and safe. Then the big one struck. And it turned out we couldn’t have dived for anything if we’d tried, as we were sucked to the floor by the centrifugal force of it. The sturdy things around us – solid wood door, bookshelves full of encyclopedias, large old bakelite phone – turned into enemies that  thumped against us and jumped up and down above us, threatening to bash our heads in. The noise of it all was totally deafening, and all we could do was curl up into balls and be thrown around on the floor, and wait for it to end. And hopefully not finish us off in the meantime. It’s still very clear in my head what it was like. Being in a very large washing machine that was on spin cycle is the closest I can describe it.

When at last it ended and we popped our heads up warily for a look around, what met our eyes was a scene of total devastation and chaos. Absolutely nothing was left on the shelves this time. If fact the shelves weren’t even left on the wall. Years of paraphernalia had come out of cupboards and off the walls and made a mess that was around knee-high, and when we waded through the lounge to the kitchen, we choked on the fumes that were coming of the foods and condiments that had mixed together in a great big scientific experiment on the floor. In the other lounge, the iron-framed piano had bounced across the floor, bashed against the pool table and fallen back against the wall. The solid old TV cabinet had done something similar. An eerie whistling wind swept through the house, opened and slammed all the windows, and in the ensuing silence we could hear the water in the big concrete tank outside going ‘swish……………swish…………’ We scooped up the kids, the dog and the lovebirds and got the heck out of there. It was hard to find somewhere that was safe to sit, that wasn’t near a wall or a power line, or a dish hole in the paddock (we lived on reclaimed land and every year a new hole would appear somewhere on the land, created by underground rivers). In the end, we sat on top of a silage stack, which would have made a weird picture – two women, one heavily pregnant and the other with two little kids, sitting on top of a hill made of rotting grass, holding a birdcage. I prayed so hard that I probably made God jump, that my friend wouldn’t go into labour. As one of my little boys sat on my lap, his legs fluttered like paper in the wind – he was absolutely terrified.

It turned out that we were lucky. It had only affected a relatively small area around us, and there were no cities in our region. There were only two deaths, and if I remember rightly they were due to heart problems, or similar. Very few people were badly injured. The worst part of it all was the psychological effect on us all. This went on for many months, and as for my poor scared little boy, he couldn’t sleep alone for months, and even then always had to have the light on. My other son was fortunate – at around one year of age, he was too young to remember much about it at all.

There are many things to torment you after an earthquake:

  • Not being able to assure your kids that it’s all over and won’t happen again
  • Aftershocks that go on for weeks or months. You don’t know, and nobody can tell you, if they’re truly just aftershocks or another earthquake building up.
  • Sleep deprivation. You sleep in fits and starts, jumping at every little noise, poised to leap into a doorway if the shaking of each aftershock seems to be building.
  • Lack of fresh water. Broken sewerage pipes and septic tanks seep into local rivers, streams and water supplies. The next biggest danger aside from another large quake is typhoid, from polluted water supplies.
  • Access to food. How long before your supplies run out? How long before shops can reopen, if at all?
  • Transport. Roads and bridges are out, making it difficult or impossible for supplies to be brought into your area, or for you to get out and about.
  • Contact. Phone lines and internet are down for an interminable amount of time, leaving you wondering if those you love and know are okay, and others outside wondering if you’re okay.
  • Weather. It’s often far too dangerous to go back into buildings, leaving you at the mercy of the elements.
  • Hyper-awareness. Every little noise could possibly be the beginning of a rumble, bringing with it another earthquake.

These are just a few of the things that the Nepali people will be going through right now. Add on top of that the anguish of not being able to find loved ones, and grief at having lost many.

I know this doesn’t do anything to help the Nepali people right now, but I hope it helps others to understand, at least to a small degree, what they are living with and what they will be facing for a long while yet.

So please, if there’s anything you can do from your little corner of the world, whether it’s to donate money to the Red Cross, or collect goods to send or sell for donations, or just keep them in your prayers, please do it. Right now they need every bit of help they can get.

Thank you.

Namaste.

A Buddha statue surrounded by rubble in the Nepal 2015 earthquake. Picture by Al Jazeera English

A Buddha statue surrounded by rubble in the Nepal 2015 earthquake. Picture by Al Jazeera English

 

 

 

 

Sauj – lexlimbu dot com, for your Nepali News and Connections

I met Sauj at Elephant Nature Park, North Thailand, where we were both volunteering. He’s a nice young fella, born in Nepal but raised and educated overseas. He too has experienced the dreadful job of cutting corn for elephants and lived to tell the tale.😀 You can read about that HERE

He now has a blog that focuses on ‘Nepali happenings from Nepal and the Nepali diaspora.’ Nepali-born, he has now returned to his Mother Country, and aims to enable locals see the opportunities becoming more available in their own country.

Take a gander at his blog –

lexlimbu.com

He also runs Tracing Nepal, ‘an experience that aims to bring Nepali youths living outside of Nepal together to experience Nepal like never before’, during which they will volunteer assistance to rural Nepali communities.

Tracing Nepal

Have a look at his Facebook page too, to see some beautiful photos of Nepal. What an awesome country!! I will have to drop in on him I think, for a cup of tea. As you do…😀

https://www.facebook.com/lexlimbuofficial

Sauj - doing the dreaded corn-cutting job.

Sauj – doing the dreaded corn-cutting job.

 

Elephants Don’t Surf! Pass it on…

An elephant frolicking in FRESH water - as it should be. Note the lack of surfboard... "Watch this Ellie. Just one more push and we got us a waterhole!"

An elephant frolicking in FRESH water – as it should be. Note the lack of surfboard…
“Watch this Ellie. Just one more push and we got us a waterhole!”

Seriously, have you ever been out surfing and had an elephant glide past you on a wave? I’ll bet all six of my toe rings that you haven’t. That’s because elephants don’t surf.

There’s a series of photos and videos that have been making their way around the net for far too long. They feature a baby elephant ‘playing’ in the surf. It looks all very cute, but it is a very wrong picture. So very wrong! The Mahout Foundation have put out a video that shows what goes into the training of baby elephants – the ones you see in these ‘Have you ever seen anything so cute?’ pics, the one’s that are still unfortunately left in circuses, the ones you buy bananas for on the streets in Bangkok and the ones apparently frolicking in the surf, amongst others. Continue reading

There’s Something Wrong with this Picture…

I’m hurting so bad. I went to the gym this morning (week 2) and nearly killed myself.  The fan above the area I was slaving in was the only one not going in the whole place. And it would have to be one of the hottest days we’ve had this summer. There’s a woman at the gym who is trying to murder me. What’s more, I’m paying her to do it. There’s something wrong with this picture.

The trouble is, there isn’t enough room on the floor of my tiny home for a gnome to do a sit-up, and I’m definitely not going to go outside and torture my body in the blazing hot sun, so I don’t really have much choice in the matter. At least at the gym there are other people who resemble sweaty, puffing podge-pots, so I’m in good company there. Except for the instructors who look trim, fit, and never break out in a bead of decent, honest sweat. I hate them. Continue reading