Covid Quarantine Day 2

In which I learn the art of drainage and find a mad fisherman in my garden.

Day 2 whiteboard fisherman

Cobbled together with some gravel gathered from around the place and a few spare pavers. Why is my back hurting?

Drainage pavers

Went to check on the cat portal (still functioning) and found a madman fishing in my ponds!

Fisherman 3 cat portal

Close-up – obviously deranged. Dangerous? Used zoom lens, just in case.

Mad fisherman

Whoops – sprung!

Fisherman evil look

And off he goes! Obviously intimidated by the ferocious furry beast on the table.

Fisherman fleeing 1

Where did he come from?

Fisherman fleeing 2

Where is he going?

Fisherman fleeing 3

Tomorrow’s task – plan and potentially execute trip wires plus dig a strategically-placed large hole with spikes in the bottom. (Oh yay, more digging.) Count fish stock. 

Fisherman fleeing 4

 

Covid Quarantine Day 1 March 2020 New Zealand

In which I catch Smudge Friday blatantly using a portal to translocate from area to area – right on our property!

Day 1 Noticeboard

Day 1: While partaking my daily life-force liquid – known to most of mankind as “Coffee”, I noticed Smudge Friday acting suspiciously. You will see what I mean in this picture. Observe how she looks around, checking the way is clear.

Smudge Portal checking

It starts to look like she is preparing for some form of action.

Smudge Portal takeoff 1

Her look of intent deepens. As I watch on, unbeknown to her, as the Rolling Stones were playing in the background and she didn’t notice the camera noise, the most astonishing thing occurred right in front of me. I couldn’t believe my eyes!

Smudge Portal takeoff 2

See what I mean?? Look – no cat!! This can mean only one thing – Smudge Friday is in possession of the knowledge of a nearby portal. There is no other explanation!!

Smudge Portal gone

I leapt straight into action and raced around the section, to see if I could find the portal exit. And voila!! Here she was exiting over at the sandpile, and cooly strolling away.

Smudge leaving portal

A little later, while I casually pretended to nail a sausage to a tree, I saw her with that look of intent on her face again.

Smudge activates portal other end 1

Watch, watch…

Smudge enters portal other end

And there we are! Once again, the cat is suddenly nowhere in sight.

No cat at other end

I unceremoniously strolled back over to the first portal, looking nonchalant so she didn’t catch on she was being followed, and lo and behold, there she was. Chilling out at the original portal. She then, of course, started to wash, as is a cat’s wont when wanting to look like an actual cat, but this warrants further observation on my behalf to see if I can catch her peeling off her cat suit and signalling to a UFO. If only I had the time to follow her around all day. Oh, wait…

Smudge Portal checking

Ode to Spring (and Beeish Bums)

Spring has sprung and beeish bums
Are humming in the trees
It’s luverly the blossoms are
Oh wait, I have to sneeze

I love to see the fuzzy bees
All celebrating pollen
Though having an ongoing sneeze
Can make me very solemn

But truly it’s a happy sight
A cloud of beeish bums
So though I sneeze with all my might
It’s hard to stay too glum

I’d hate to see a world
Without them fuzzy bums around
So in between my sneezes
I shall relish humming sounds

I like to see the dance they do
It’s cute and sort of funny
They’re welcome to my plants
And I look forward to their honey.

Hummmmmmm

Hummmmmmm

There’s Something Wrong with this Picture…

I’m hurting so bad. I went to the gym this morning (week 2) and nearly killed myself.  The fan above the area I was slaving in was the only one not going in the whole place. And it would have to be one of the hottest days we’ve had this summer. There’s a woman at the gym who is trying to murder me. What’s more, I’m paying her to do it. There’s something wrong with this picture.

The trouble is, there isn’t enough room on the floor of my tiny home for a gnome to do a sit-up, and I’m definitely not going to go outside and torture my body in the blazing hot sun, so I don’t really have much choice in the matter. At least at the gym there are other people who resemble sweaty, puffing podge-pots, so I’m in good company there. Except for the instructors who look trim, fit, and never break out in a bead of decent, honest sweat. I hate them. Continue reading

Camera Rambles: Look Who I Found in the Garden Today – Kereru

P1050455 72Kereru – New Zealand Wood Pigeon. They’re a handsome beasty, with red eyes, beak and feet, a white breast and the head, throat and wings are a shiny green-purple colour,  with a bronze tinge to the feathers. They’re endemic to New Zealand and are unfortunately a threatened species, so it’s pretty fortunate to spot one so close to town.

P1050461 72

We have several berry-laden trees around us, and that’s a favourite thing of the Kereru. Sometimes the berries start fermenting and when the kereru eat them they get quite drunk. I saw one in the bush up a mountain once, crash-landing in a tree. They’re quite big birds, around 51 centimetres (20 in) in length and 650 grams (23 oz) in weight, and a drunken kereru throwing himself at a tree with the hope of actually stopping on a perch rather than falling off the other side is quite a sight to behold.

P1050459 72Hopefully we’ll see more of them in the next few days as they feast on the berries. I don’t think our berries are fermenting, but I’ll hide the keys to the car, just in case…

P1050456 72

Yes, I’m talking about you. No drinking and driving!