Before I came to India
I took the Phart for granted
Then a case of Dehli Belly
Made my view of Pharting slanted

So now I Phart most carefully
With delicate control
(To Phart with gay abandon
Means to first find toilet bowl)

Now, if I see a meditator
Seemingly in trance
I wonder to myself
If he is merely trying to Phart

I vow that I will never take
My flatulence for granted
‘Cos now I know, in India,
A Phart is carefully planted

It takes a honed technique
True, ’tis a fine and noble art
So now I am a Master
Of the Gentle Way of Phart

And when I’m gone from India,
Back home in my country
How well I will appreciate
My Pharts can now fly free.